Somedays, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Take today, for instance. The headline of The Alternate Times reads: "King Averts Piano Accident" and "1978 Return of the King Tour in Limbo." You sigh, swill the cup of grounds your secretary, Miss Concepcion, lovingly refers to as coffee, and await the call you know will come any minute. And whaddya know? The phone does ring. You lick your dry lips as a single bead of sweat trails down your cheek and onto the pile of Ack Dep forms on your desk. The palm of your hand is wet and clammy as it hovers over the cold receiver. You know without a doubt that the caller on the other end is your superior, Captain Ahab, and that he wants you to look into this case, a case he'll probably call "The Return of the King." Getting up on the wrong side of the bed doesn't make it any easier - especially when that side's the bottom side of a king-size waterbed.